Listen:
a long time ago there was nothing, or it looked like nothing, or more accurately it didn’t look like anything because there was no light. That’s when the Sun came in. It lit up the world, or about half of it, and we could all see what, in retrospect, had already (always) been there, but at the time we thought had just been made by the Sun. So we decided to worship it.
We started out pretty tamely – we looked at it til our eyes hurt, sang it songs we wrote about how great it was, we even left it little gifts of food, stuff we were making for dinner and thought it might enjoy. But it never ate any of the food or said thank you or anything, so we guessed it didn’t really like our gifts. And our eyes were really hurting from staring at it.
So we were at a loss, until a dog just died one day and the sun got really strong. Like it really liked that dead dog. We were kind of weirded out, but who were we to judge? There is no, as they say, accounting for taste.
We killed another dog, to make sure it wasn’t just a coincidence. The sun got really strong again. Apparently it really did like dead dogs. We started killing like, one a week, and leaving it out for the sun to do whatever it did with it.