There are three basic things to remember he said. You have to tie your shoes the right way. You have to brush your teeth every day. You always always have to tip your servers.
We went out and I saw his shoe laces untied. I said so and he turned bright red under his blond moustache. He bent to tie his shoes and a bird flew over his head. His teeth fell out on the pavement and chattered away.
At the restaurant he ordered soup. As he slurped I watched him and ate a steak. I chewed with my mouth open so he’d see what he was missing. He got up and left me to pay the bill.
On the way home I remembered I forgot to leave a tip. Dostoevsky would be proud I thought as I passed the gun in my hallway.